found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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