shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
love makes seman taste better
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
