Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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