I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
