Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
