As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
