I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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