brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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