I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
