What a fucking waste of an outfit
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
