I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
