did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
