YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he shaved USA in his pubs
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
