The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
