Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
