He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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