I just made out with a guy for $7.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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