Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
