I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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