I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize