Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
