Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
