I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
