Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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