Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize