SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
