Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
