laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
