I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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