No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My penis needs a shock collar
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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