i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize