The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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