I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
