My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
