the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
