Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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