This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
