Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
