I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
