This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize