all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
