Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
