Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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