The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My life is pants optional.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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