His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
50% drunk capacity currently
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
