called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My dick has a subreddit
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize