I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
a search helicopter?!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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