that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
