Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
