Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize