I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
