So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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