she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
