do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
