And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
