Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
