That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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