I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
