he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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