I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
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