You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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