i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
