He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
