Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was like eating out sand paper
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
