i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize