he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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