You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
