His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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