I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
