Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
